before I sleep

Before I sleep my brain goes running
running round round round
in circles through my head.
I can barely follow it,
but I know that it makes sense. Thinking
theories, philosophies, thesis,
biology, poetry, psychology
me and or with for everyone else.

Every night it's the same
and every morning I wake up
and I can't remember what I thought about
that seemed so terribly important
so brilliant
so perfect the night before.

Were these thoughts I had actually mine,
or were they just the amalgamation of everything I absorbed in one day?

I can't help but think,
if I had these thoughts during the day
(or could at least remember them come the next morning)
I might be a little bit more satisfied with my life
thus far.
Or maybe I should try sheep.

You ever get that feeling where you're so exhausted and you feel like you can barely even function, but you can't sleep no matter how hard you try? I get that all the time. Lay awake at night and stare at my ceiling for hours until I hardy even know where I am anymore.
I think one of my biggest problems is that I tend to worry about things. Not really panicky type things (although that does happen sometimes too), but more like daily things and things that shouldn't really matter at all but do for some reason. I spent a while last night worrying about whether or not I know how to kiss and if when I kiss a man, he's repulsed by it.
Am I unique? I think about that a lot. I used to think that I was and it always made me really happy to know that no matter what, I would always be me and no one else. But then I was told a little while ago by my mum that I wasn't unique at all. That everything I had thought was original about myself was really just a cop-out.
Am I passionate? I've been told that I'm not passionate about anything, but I don't know why I would be exceptionally passionate about anything at 20 years old, when I don't have anything. Should I be passionate for money and stuff ? That just seems like such a waste to me. I'd rather wait for a person to feel passionate about, or a job or something (anything!) other than what I've got to show for myself right now. I mean, really: "I'm passionate about Starbucks coffee!" "I'm passionate about my clothes!" is that kind of thing healthy?

After all this thinking and questioning I pretty much just come to the conclusion that I have no idea about anything and to think otherwise would be incredibly naive. Does that mean I'm wrong? I don't think so, because that would just mean that everyone else is right and that would be pretty awful.
Maybe I'll just try counting sheep.

Sleepy...

Please someone tell me to just stop thinking
about driving my car and hitting a cyclist
and telling my parents that I hit a cyclist
because I failed a class (even though I didn't really fail it, but in my head I did) and couldn't think
about anything other than the fact that I'm an idiot
and that I can't even pretend to be normal and act normal
and what the fuck IS normal
because I thought I was yesterday but today I'm so fucked up
about everything and how I can't even be around people
and why people always forget me
I just want to stop thinking
stop thinking about how I don't even really truly exist at all.

I'm tired.